Fear of Failure/Fear of Success © Cheryl Wright – All rights reserved
These two are very similar in essence and can result from the very same actions.
We strive toward an end goal: to be published. But what emotion does this trigger?
Fear.
First there is the fear of failure – “what if I submit to a publisher and they reject me?”
Keep in mind it is not personal. They are not rejecting you as a person. The stories they accept must be commercially viable – publishing is a business, so every book contracted is seen as aproduct. Nothing more, nothing less.
If a publisher cannot earn from the book, they won’t contract it. (And they do know what sells!)
All that aside, it hurts to have your work rejected. If feels personal even if it’s not.
Different people deal with rejection in different ways.
When I first started out, I took every rejection very personally. Those first few rejections left me flat, even hollow. I knew I would never be published, and my life-long dream of being a writer would never be realised.
It took a long time to realise I was actually setting myself up for failure; I wasn’t ready to be published, either emotionally or with my skill level.
Over time I learned to be patient, and also learned there a time and place for everything. One day I would get published, and I would know when the time was right.
So I learned as much as I could about the craft, taking every class I could, and absorbing as much information as possible. I joined the MRWG, which was the catapult of my writing career.
A few years down the track, I knew it was time.
I was ready – if my work was rejected this time it would be because the editor didn’t know good writing when she saw it. ☺
More than anything, I was ready emotionally. Our writing is like our child – we become emotionally attached.
So we have to learn not to be precious about it, because this is what sets us up for an emotionally downward plunge when rejection occurs.
Now when I submit a story, article, or whatever, I put it to the back of my mind. If it’s accepted, great. If it’s not, then I move on.
Ways to avoid rejection:
v Know your market
§ Thoroughly research the publisher; what they sell, what they accept. Submitting to the wrong publisher is a sure way to have your work rejected.
v Be confident in your skills
§ If you don’t feel ready, don’t submit. And don’t let other people push you into it. You’ll know if you’re ready, and you are the only person who can make that decision.
The second part of fear is the fear of success.
Once you have that contract in your hand, it all becomes a reality. Your book/article/story is going to be published.
Wow, you made it!!
But wait – you will be expected to write yet another successful story. Many questions run through your mind: Can you do it? Do you have the discipline to write another? Or are you a one-book wonder?
You feel sick, your heart is pounding, your palms are sweaty.
You haven’t thought it through, you want to cancel the contract and go back to being unpublished. But you know it’s not an option.
This reaction is normal.
Every writer goes through these emotions – you need to recognise this for what it is – self preservation (aka: the fear of success).
Like any phobia, you need to recognise, assess, and conquer!
Tips To Help Overcome The Fear Of Success:
Ø Assess your actions to ensure you are not sabotaging your efforts to succeed
You may believe you are trying to succeed, but subconsciously you may be doing the opposite.
Ø Prepare yourself to succeed, instead of assuming you will fail
Tell yourself you deserve to succeed and reward yourself appropriately when you reach that goal.
Ø Accept failure as part of succeeding
Every successful person has failed along the way. Failure is the way we learn what not to do, and through that journey we eventually succeed.
Ø Remove negativity (and negative people) from your life
Negative people have a way of bringing us down and making us believe we will never be successful. Families can be the worst offenders. Where necessary don’t tell them your goals or dreams, because if they make negative comments about those goals and/or dreams, they are setting you up for failure.
Further Reading:
http://www.eruptingmind.com/overcome-fear-of-success/
http://behavioural-psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/building_your_confidence
http://www.chatterbean.com/personality-quizzes/fear_success/
About the author: Cheryl Wright is an award-winning Australian author, freelance journalist, and editor.
She is widely published, including novels, short stories, non-fiction books, poetry, and features. Her work has also been published in several anthologies and other collections. Visit Cheryl’s author website for more information - http://www.cheryl-wright.com
©Cheryl Wright. Not to be used or reprinted without permission.
We strive toward an end goal: to be published. But what emotion does this trigger?
Fear.
First there is the fear of failure – “what if I submit to a publisher and they reject me?”
Keep in mind it is not personal. They are not rejecting you as a person. The stories they accept must be commercially viable – publishing is a business, so every book contracted is seen as aproduct. Nothing more, nothing less.
If a publisher cannot earn from the book, they won’t contract it. (And they do know what sells!)
All that aside, it hurts to have your work rejected. If feels personal even if it’s not.
Different people deal with rejection in different ways.
When I first started out, I took every rejection very personally. Those first few rejections left me flat, even hollow. I knew I would never be published, and my life-long dream of being a writer would never be realised.
It took a long time to realise I was actually setting myself up for failure; I wasn’t ready to be published, either emotionally or with my skill level.
Over time I learned to be patient, and also learned there a time and place for everything. One day I would get published, and I would know when the time was right.
So I learned as much as I could about the craft, taking every class I could, and absorbing as much information as possible. I joined the MRWG, which was the catapult of my writing career.
A few years down the track, I knew it was time.
I was ready – if my work was rejected this time it would be because the editor didn’t know good writing when she saw it. ☺
More than anything, I was ready emotionally. Our writing is like our child – we become emotionally attached.
So we have to learn not to be precious about it, because this is what sets us up for an emotionally downward plunge when rejection occurs.
Now when I submit a story, article, or whatever, I put it to the back of my mind. If it’s accepted, great. If it’s not, then I move on.
Ways to avoid rejection:
v Know your market
§ Thoroughly research the publisher; what they sell, what they accept. Submitting to the wrong publisher is a sure way to have your work rejected.
v Be confident in your skills
§ If you don’t feel ready, don’t submit. And don’t let other people push you into it. You’ll know if you’re ready, and you are the only person who can make that decision.
The second part of fear is the fear of success.
Once you have that contract in your hand, it all becomes a reality. Your book/article/story is going to be published.
Wow, you made it!!
But wait – you will be expected to write yet another successful story. Many questions run through your mind: Can you do it? Do you have the discipline to write another? Or are you a one-book wonder?
You feel sick, your heart is pounding, your palms are sweaty.
You haven’t thought it through, you want to cancel the contract and go back to being unpublished. But you know it’s not an option.
This reaction is normal.
Every writer goes through these emotions – you need to recognise this for what it is – self preservation (aka: the fear of success).
Like any phobia, you need to recognise, assess, and conquer!
Tips To Help Overcome The Fear Of Success:
Ø Assess your actions to ensure you are not sabotaging your efforts to succeed
You may believe you are trying to succeed, but subconsciously you may be doing the opposite.
Ø Prepare yourself to succeed, instead of assuming you will fail
Tell yourself you deserve to succeed and reward yourself appropriately when you reach that goal.
Ø Accept failure as part of succeeding
Every successful person has failed along the way. Failure is the way we learn what not to do, and through that journey we eventually succeed.
Ø Remove negativity (and negative people) from your life
Negative people have a way of bringing us down and making us believe we will never be successful. Families can be the worst offenders. Where necessary don’t tell them your goals or dreams, because if they make negative comments about those goals and/or dreams, they are setting you up for failure.
Further Reading:
http://www.eruptingmind.com/overcome-fear-of-success/
http://behavioural-psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/building_your_confidence
http://www.chatterbean.com/personality-quizzes/fear_success/
About the author: Cheryl Wright is an award-winning Australian author, freelance journalist, and editor.
She is widely published, including novels, short stories, non-fiction books, poetry, and features. Her work has also been published in several anthologies and other collections. Visit Cheryl’s author website for more information - http://www.cheryl-wright.com
©Cheryl Wright. Not to be used or reprinted without permission.
