While I’d love to be the one to tell you all about it, one of my awesome fellow Ninjas has already penned a few words to let you know what you’ll find at our humble abode, so I’ll put you into her capable, but occasionally sticky (don’t ask!) hands …
We’re six naughty authors, with sneaky ninja powers... (Chuck Norris can deny paternity all he wants, but our mad ninja skills speak for themselves)
Who’ve started a website...
And we’re on a mission to bring you the lurrrve.
Like a bit of romance, erotica or chick lit in your day? So do we!
Want to hear some opinions about the pressing issues facing the world? You know, the important ones, like what to make of Fabio's new hairstyle or how dodgy dinosaur erotica truly is? We’ve got so many issues to wrestle with that our super ninja hideout is running out of room, so we’ve stored them all at Naughty Ninjas Say.
Want to know about forthcoming releases or what old favourites keep us coming back for more? Check out Reading Ninjas where we salivate over what tickled our pleasure centres and glory in the naughty bits.
Love food? Really, really love food? Awesome! So do we! (See, we knew we’d all be friends.) Come with us for a walk around Eat Me, our ninja pantry. It’s packed with recipes for optimal ninja bowel health, awful aphrodisiacs, anatomical cakes, and all the best munchies excitingly shaped like genitalia. If you like a bit of plonk with your pudding, we even have a resident wine critic to give you the stealthy lowdown.
Are you staying up at nights wondering what the difference is between a snizz and a Ding Dong McDork? No fear! Our Glorious Glossary of Naughty Anatomy is here to rescue the day on a brilliant white charger with its kilt flapping and pectorals glistening.
Do you suffer from tiny hands? Are you anxious about twerking etiquette? Is your boss a giant bag of dicks? Yes? Well, never fear genteel reader, our advice columnist, Lady Fluffy Beaver, is an expert at ass-kicking a crisis.
Are you a member of the Nerd Herd? We’ve got you covered. (You can’t see us though, we’re sneaky.) Browse Grammar Ninja, Nerdy Ninja and Ninjitsu—it’s like ninja writing school... with rude bits. (Be prepared for the odd discussion on the literary merits of hedgehog ménage and porpoise snuff fiction.)
Fatigued from all the Ninja Awesomeness? Well there’s still Naughty Nature where you can delve into the mysteries of nonhuman courtship, plus the Ninja Horoscope where Madam Lady-bumps interprets your month according to the stars and her latest novel.
And let’s not forget the starfish gang-bang that is Ninja Love, where dozens of guest ninjas and a score of interviewees mingle and reproduce.
Sound amazing, awesome and hella sneaky to you? Fantastic! Because we want to share the love with our Launch Competition where we’re offering a $80 Amazon gift voucher prize.
All you need to do to enter the draw is to sign up for the weekly Ninja Newsletter (we promise on our ninja mothers’ honour not to spam you, and you can unsubscribe whenever you want) before 14 March.
So come and join us in the giant ninja hot-tub, today! We’ll even let you take a turn at Jacuzzi karaoke using our rhinestone-studded disco stick.