By Margaret Tanner

The start of a new year is a great time to de-clutter, figuratively and literally speaking. A time to cast off the old and start afresh with the new.

I am a clutter collector from way back. I figure why throw anything out; you never know when you might need it. I inherited the hoarder gene.

 

“Waste not, want not” was my mother’s motto and she lived by it the whole of her life. Maybe it was because she lived through the great depression of the 1930’s and World War 2, that she would use and re-use, save and squirrel away stuff. Our house was never untidy, because most of the hoarded items were well out of sight. 

I should have learned my lesson after my dear mother died about 20 years ago and my sister and I had to clear out her house. To say it was a nightmare was an understatement. It took weeks. My mother had kept receipts from the 1940’s, even her World War 2 ration book. And speaking of books, she had hundreds of them. Then there were the ornaments, pretty little knick-knacks that reposed on every shelf or level surface in the house. Boxes of china. Well, you get the idea.

Now you would think that after all this trauma and angst, I would have dashed home and gone through my own cupboards.  I didn’t, but I did take a lot of my mother’s stuff with me.  Well, how could I let it go?  All those little treasures.

My mother-in-law passed away, same story, I kept a lot of her things too. I was a hoarder.  It came as naturally as breathing or eating.

Well friends, retribution did come. The youngest of our sons finally left home, so hubby and I decided it was time to downsize. We bought a smaller house, and put our larger house on the market. “We’ve got a lot of stuff here, we’ll have to get rid of it,” hubby says.

Over my dead body. “No, we won’t do anything rash,” I said, “there’s plenty of time to work out what we want to keep.”

A week before the auction of our house, my husband had to have heart by-pass surgery, so I had to go on with the sale alone. After the auction and hubby’s successful operation, I had to start packing, because when he came home he couldn’t do anything for eight weeks. I really hit the panic button because we had a short settlement. Forty days to clear out all our stuff, that of my mother and mother-in-law (things I had kept, and shouldn’t have). Well, it was a nightmare. I did most of it on my own.  I don’t know how many trips I made to donate all these “treasures” to the second hand thrift shop (we call them Op shops here in Australia.  They are run by charities to raise money to help the less fortunate).  And I did help the less fortunate - big time.  The Op shop manager must have thought I was Mother Teresa re-incarnated.

It was terrible. I cried because I had to give away my treasures, mum’s treasures and my mother in-law’s treasures. Worse still, was the time it took to pack them and deliver them to the Op shop. 

With the clock ticking, I had to be ruthless – and I was.

If you are even contemplating moving house, start to get rid of your surplus stuff early.  In fact, don’t collect it in the first place.  A lady once told me that if she didn’t wear a dress for a year, she was probably never going to wear it again, and she got rid of it. Smart lady. Wish I had such courage.  I still cling to my favourite dresses, hey I might lose weight and they will fit me again???

The moral of this story is - don’t hoard. De-clutter as much as possible, because one day you will have to sort it out, or your children will have to sort it out.  

The same goes for your writing.  Be ruthless. If the manuscript you have expended blood, sweat and tears over isn’t working, discard it.  Temporarily cast it into your bottom drawer is what I mean. Don’t destroy it, because you might be able to resurrect it at a later date.  Start on something fresh and new. Once you get your writing tastebuds tingling again with a new premise, a feisty heroine and a spunky hero, the words will start flowing until they become a torrent.

Never give up. It is a steep climb to the top of the publishing mountain, but oh what a view once you get there.

 


Comments

20/02/2012 4:00pm

I can see why you kept all those treasures, Margaret - even your descriptions here have me wanted to run my fingers through boxes, looking for pieces of history and personalities long gone.

I tend to be extremely ruthless when I feel overwhelmed. It somehow seems easier just not to have anything at all than to be conflicted about it.

It's about half and half, how much I regret it later :-)

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20/02/2012 4:02pm

*wanting*

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20/02/2012 7:21pm

Thank you for your insight Margaret.
My mother was a hoarder, I always swore never to do that, but it's so hard to give away the cute baby clothes... thinking... maybe my grandchildren will wear them! I must resist and de clutter!

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20/02/2012 9:23pm

Hi Anna
Thank you so much for dropping by. I wish I could be ruthless. Call me weak and pathetic, but I hate getting rid of my precious "stuff."

Regards

Margaret

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20/02/2012 9:27pm

Hi Angela,
Thanks for posting a comment.
Yes,the baby clothes are so sweet. Don't give them all away, keep a few. My sons are in their thirties, yet I still have some of their baby things. I would cut off a limb before parting with them.


Regards

Margaret

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20/02/2012 9:44pm

Hi Margaret

Nice to meet another hopeless hoarder!

I am of the very same opinion - you never know when you may need something. And I have to say, my husband has been suprised on many occasions when things he'd previously wanted to toss have come in handy, and even, dare I say it, useful!

I'm not a great believer of the old adage, out with the old, in with the new. Why can't we keep it all!

Many thanks for your post. I loved it.

Michelle

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20/02/2012 9:49pm

Hi Michelle,
Thanks for dropping by.We must be kindred spirits. And it is so true, you throw something out that you have hoarded, then a few weeks later you want/need it again.

Cheers

Margaret

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Louise Reynolds
20/02/2012 10:41pm

Hi Margaret,
I'm getting better at my hoarding habit. Having moved twice in as many years was a nightmare and I swore I would get rid of things that just sat in cupboards, unused. Haven't been totally successful but I'm getting there :-)

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21/02/2012 12:31pm

Oh no, please don't ask me to throw anything away!
They are my little preciouses!
truthfully my beau has been trying to cure me of this habit so gone are the days when I kept things "just in case". Of course I do still keep a few things *grin*

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Dora Braden
21/02/2012 1:07pm

Hi Margaret,
My mother is the opposite of a hoarder clean clear surfaces and neutral tones. I have no idea what happened with me. I love knick knacks and roses and patterns. Old books, spill from my too small bookcase, craft resources push the lids off their boxes and clothes force open my wardrobe doors. Don't get me started on the shoes!
Dora.

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21/02/2012 1:08pm

Margaret I think moving house is the biggest cure for hoarding and I've moved so many times I'm getting better and better at it. My parents have moved a lot and my mother is ruthless. They live in a smallish house now and there is almost nothing there that belongs to me or my siblings -- no old school work, books, toys, nothing. If we wanted to keep it, we had to take it! I definitely have a few "treasure boxes" but the idea of moving again quickly makes me put things in the trash if there's any question over their future usefulness or value (whether monetary or emotional!).

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21/02/2012 6:50pm

Hi Louise,
Nothing like moving house to get us de-cluttering. Thanks for dropping by.

Cheers

Margaret

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21/02/2012 6:52pm

Hi JJ,
Great to find another keeper of little treasures. Thanks for stopping by.

Cheers

Margaret

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21/02/2012 6:55pm

Hi Dora,
Yes, the flower patterned little knick knacks are the hardest things to let go. They are so sweet, and each of them seems to have a special memory.
Thanks for posting a comment.

Regards

Margaret

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21/02/2012 6:58pm

Wow Emmie, you are a professional de-clutterer by the sounds of things. I only wish I could be ruthless, but I can't, unless I am in dire straits. Back to the wall type of thing, then maybe. Depends what I need to get rid of.

Thanks for dropping by.

Regards

Margaret

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Lia
22/02/2012 10:45am

How timely is this?!! We're about to put our house on the market, and frankly, I am feeling so overwhelmed I just want to walk away, leave it all.
Not really, because 'I loves me precious' ! but wish I had the strength.
I'm getting boxes and throwing, sorting, anguishing. It's a slow process, and you're right, that's how I am with my writing.
You did an amazing job, packing up a whole house on your own. Superwoman!!


thanks Margaret, it's wonderful to know I'm in the majority, not the minority.


cheers Lia.

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22/02/2012 12:14pm

Hi Lia,
Good luck with your moving. For us hoarders it is a nightmare, but somehow we do get it done - eventually. Give yourself plenty of time, if you can, I think that is the key.

Cheers

Margaret

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22/02/2012 1:31pm

You did well to pack and move with little help Margaret.

I love your analogy and it's so true. I'm a bit of a hoarder married to a compulsive hoarder and it makes tough decisions even tougher, but there comes a time when you have to move on, even for a few weeks or months and come back fresh. Thankfully our stories are much easier to hoard, sorry save, now we have computer files rather than huge paper manuscripts.

Thanks for your post.

Cheers,
Margaret

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22/02/2012 3:28pm

Hi Margaret,
Thanks for dropping by I appreciate it.
Wow a minor hoarder married to a major hoarder, hopefully you won't want to move any time soon.

Cheers

Margaret

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